Last Saturday was the first big temptation!
I haven’t been living under a rock since sobriety, I have tried to do what I would usually do but just without drinking. I’ve been on date night, to the pub and even to Mamma Mia The Party.
But this weekend was the first time it made me think ‘will one be okay?!’.
It was Saturday night in Bristol and I was there with my friends and Stu for our friends’, Ashleigh and Joe’s Wedding Party.
They had already got married in Vegas – and looked like the most brilliant time! So this was just a get together for those who weren’t able to make it out to the US to celebrate.
Ashleigh looked incredible! We caught a glimpse of her wedding dress and then she changed into a fabulous white outfit for the rest of the night. So stunning!
When we got there, everyone had a drink and there was lots of bottles of Prosecco pre-paid by the generous bride and groom. There was going to be dancing later as there was a DJ and at this point I just thought – wouldn’t it be easier if I just had a drink!
I was also with all my running friends, whilst we do go out socially too, I rarely drink with them as we are usually running. So the temptation to just have a drink together was also strong.
Most people knew I wasn’t drinking and so were helpful, didn’t ask if I wanted a Prosecco and didn’t make conversation about how great drinking is. (Big love to them!)
Stu went to the bar and got me an alcohol free gin and tonic. He came back with the measure in the glass and a bottle of tonic on the side. It made it look and feel no different to drinking and so that felt quite nice.
The disappointing thing is these non-alcoholic options are often more expensive than their alcoholic counterpart. And so due to the costly investment I only had one. Didn’t seem ‘worth’ it.
The evening was really lovely, it was so nice to be a part of the celebration and to catch up with friends. There were beautiful photos of them in Vegas on the screens and the pub was a really lovely venue with the cutest roof terrace! Plus, the newly weds ordered 100s of cupcakes to celebrate and they were the tastiest!! (See above photo)
But I’m not going to lie, the first couple of hours felt hard. I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I did enjoy some dancing on the dance floor – but I felt much more conscious than usual after a few glasses of fizz. It didn’t stop me, I do like a dance.
Once the first few hours had past and I was in the groove it did become easier, not easy but better. By this point I had accepted I wasn’t drinking and everyone else’s loosen of inhibitions made me feel less conscious.
Then once everyone was drunk I did get a good feeling of ‘well at least I’ll have a clear head tomorrow’ so it did get easier.
But I’m not trying to push out a fake illusion that it was all fine and dandy – it’s complex. And if anyone out there has tips on how to be sober around drunk people I very much welcome them!
The main thing is though, even though it was challenging I really did have a lovely time making a memory that will last forever. I didn’t drink too much and start crying, I didn’t have an unwarranted row with my boyfriend or have the dreaded hangxiety. More importantly I was there to be present for the celebration and remember the lovely evening over focusing on just drinking enough to escape my feelings.
I’m not sure how I will feel after the 100 days but I’m definitely beginning to not only question but also start to find honest answers to why do I need to drink. I’m hoping I can use this honesty in the future to determine how/if I should drink.
Challenges like this event will help me put those thoughts into perspective and hopefully will equip me with the tools I need post 100 days.
This was the first big challenge for me but I overcame it!
I hope the strength stays with me as I face the Christmas season and other two weddings!
Until next time…
Sober Siobhan x
runningshoe 